Being a Married Gamer [Updated]
I wrote this piece originally in 2015 about being a married gamer, and now that we’re close to five years since it’s inception, it’s time for some updated thoughts.
In my initial, overzealous piece of GOLDEN content, I wrote that husbands who had their gaming habits put on hold for their marriage was considered to be a “horror story.”
Well, on top of that being a terrible opening statement, I’m also here to tell you that you will almost certainly have to put your gaming habits on hold in your marriage. Maybe not permanently, but there will be seasons of your lives that other aspects take precedence. Your family will always be the most important thing to focus on. Family. First. Always.
I feel like I didn’t give my wife enough credit initially, so let it be known that she has developed a pretty impressive knowledge of game history and news. She also kicks my butt in every other type of game, outside of video games.
Last in regards to the “What I Have Heard” section, video games WILL feel like a waste of time every now and then. That’s just the hard truth. If you start developing this feeling, take a break! Do something else! I’ve been there countless times, and I’ve sometimes made the mistake of pushing through because of sheer boredom. There are so many other cool and beneficial things that you can do with your time. Go hang with your spouse, have dinner with friends, go outside.
You’ll appreciate gaming much more if it’s something you do less frequently, or at least, not 7 days a week (unless you’re playing Breath of the Wild…).
Now onto What I have Learned…
For the most part, I still align my my original thoughts. Giving your time to someone you care about is probably the best thing you can do. However, I do think sacrifice is a bit of an extreme word to use in this instance. It’s not really a sacrifice to give up your gaming time. Plenty of other people in the world have to sacrifice a whole lot more, so instead, I’ll say surrender.
You’ll need to surrender your own selfish desires constantly in marriage. If I had it my own way, I’d sit on a couch all day, and do nothing but play games. Thankfully, Hannah is around to make sure that doesn’t happen.
Confession: I turn into a couch potato at least once every week; still have work to do on that front.
This original piece was written before the Switch had come out, and I will say that with the Switch, fitting games into my life has been a whole lot easier. If you want to know how I feel about owning a Nintendo Switch as an adult man baby, check out this piece.
Another slight cringe with what I originally wrote, but not because I disagree with it, more just because I get to see how trash my writing was (it’s still trash).
To add on to what young, enthusiastic Jake wrote, I’d go back to what I originally started with; Family is one of the most important things in your life. Everything else falls to the wayside in comparison.
I imagine people on their deathbeds aren’t wishing they had spent more time playing video games. Just a thought.
A rather dark one at that! Sorry!
** Original Piece **
So I just got married...Now what?
For most people this would spell the end of an era or the metaphorical closing of a door on video games forever. Fortunately, so far it's looking like the two can coexist. I've pursued many different hobbies in life, but none of them seemed to stick quite like gaming did. This was something that my wife had already accepted before we decided to "tie the knot." Heck, she even went behind my back and had, what could be, one of the coolest groom's cakes ever made!
What I have Heard
We've all heard horror stories of guys who, after getting married, had to sell, or just plain get rid of their video games. You also may have heard that there simply isn't any time for video games once you get married. Turns out, both of these myths are busted. My wife is beautiful in the way that she legitimately accepts video games as part of my life. Sure, she doesn't sit down and understand exactly what's happening, but she is always good about supporting my hobby, whatever it may be.
There's this weird stigma behind video games being a "waste of time," or just a "child's toy," but I'm here to challenge you to think a little bit differently. Everyone has their thing, whether it be hiking, watching movies, climbing, playing a sport, etc. Basically anything that you do for fun. If anything, people just don't understand video games. Believe me, it's easy to look at something like video games and say that it's a waste of time. I get it! We sit inside for hours, away from people and the sun, and don't do anything else, right? Sort, of.
What I have Learned
Let's not get ahead of ourselves and think that as long as your significant other supports your hobby, you're in the clear.
When people decide to get married, there are obviously sacrifices that need to be made on both ends. More often than not, the thing that you will sacrifice most is your 'free time,' or the time that you have outside of your actual responsibilities. Luckily, sacrificing your own time for another person is, in my opinion, one the best ways to show that you care about someone.
I can't say that I've mastered the ability to properly divvy up my time in the most effective ways, but I can say with confidence that I KNOW when I'm being selfish with my time, instead of giving it to others. My wife and I kind of have an unspoken agreement with each other. If I'm playing video games, it has to be on my own time, and not when I'm needed.
"Well that sounds like you don't have any time, ya' big dumb idiot!"
True, my time is limited, but not lost. You see, gone are the days of playing a video game for 8 hours on end. My video game play time is now more limited to maybe 2 hours here and there. However, through my experience thus far, this bit-sized video game style is proving to be more enjoyable than I thought. We all complain about not having any games to play or even better, some games are too short (*cough,*The Order,*cough*), but I can make a game like Bloodborne, last for weeks, even months! Sure, it can get tiring going back to the same old game, over and over, again, but if we're honest with ourselves, we already do that with most games we enjoy.
Video games for me, are an outlet of imagination that simply can't be achieved through any other medium. In case you have been living under a rock for the past ten years, you may realize that video games have come a long way from where they started. Through advances in technology and the ever increasing demand for video games, there are so many different and engaging stories to be told.
I guess when you think about it, it all comes down to respect. Respect for one another and respect for eachother's interests. My wife may not love video games as much as I do, but she loves me, and therefore, loves my interests. I can't speak from experience, but if I married someone who cared as much about video games as I did, I'd be miserable. I think because we are both distinct and special in our own ways, we can appreciate our differences all the much more.
So if you are newly married, or have been married for a while, please don't hesitate to post on this blog and tell me how I'm wrong in every way. Like I said, I just got married, so I still have a lot to learn, but I can say that I'm definitely excited to figure out life, and all of the blessings that come with it.